If you have a chronic health issue and are in a relationship, you are probably familiar with how attachment issues arise.
The partner with health challenges may silently wonder...
" Am I becoming a burden?"
"What happens if my condition gets worse?"
"Will you leave me?"
When we can't be vulnerable with our partner about our fears, we become critical, withdraw, defensive, or "beat around the bush" instead of sharing our fears openly.
When this happens, the connection is strained or even lost.
The caregiving partner may become more sensitive to signs of rejection because they are giving so much and feel overwhelmed.
A painful cycle can develop :
- One partner longs for reassurance.
- The other feels pressured and backs away
- The first partner becomes exasperated.
- The second withdraws even more.
Neither partner is wrong.
The cycle is the problem.
That is one of EFT's most compassionate lessons.
We can't take away health issues, but a partner that acknowledges, "I know you're scared." helps the other partner feels they are not carrying the load alone
There is a hidden longing: the wish to feel cherished, safe, chosen, and emotionally held by the person we love.
That longing is no less powerful than it was when we were young. We just become more aware of how much bravery it takes to ask for it as we grow within our relationships
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